Tips for Maintaining Healthy Relationships During Pandemic Life

By Tara Watkins, LICSW and Shana Prohofsky

Pandemic life has impacted us all in many ways. We have continued to adapt to ever changing restrictions on how we interact with others and go about our daily routines. Combined with that have been concerns and worries that have added additional stressors to our already jam-packed lives. At the end of the day, many of us might just feel “done,” with no reserves left to be there for others. Yet, as humans, a sense of belonging and being in positive relationships with others is vital to our overall wellbeing.

Please consider the following strategies for continuing to support healthy relationships in your life.
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1. Be mindful: Be aware of your thoughts and feelings in the moment you are interacting with a loved one or friend. Our thoughts and feelings directly impact our behavior. For example, if you are feeling frustrated, stressed out, or anxious this may influence how you treat the other person. Being mindfully aware creates opportunity to acknowledge our thoughts and feelings while also allowing them to pass by without being acted on. Mindful reflection reduces the chance we might act or speak in hurtful ways
   
   
2. Supporting Other Relationships:  Everyone’s living situation is different. Some find themselves struggling with living alone, while others are being challenged by continuous contact with household members. For all of us, our social circles have narrowed creating unrealistic expectations for our primary relationships. Tensions might arise if expect a singular relationship to meet all our social and relational needs. Supporting other friendships can provide balance and perspective. It is important to nurture these connections, as this will actually help enrich our primary relationships.
   
   
3. Be Compassionate Towards Yourself and Your Loved One: Be gentle and kind toward yourself as you navigate how to cope with all that is happening. Occasional disagreements are inevitable in most relationships when you are living in stressful conditions. With the stressors of pandemic life, the likelihood of significant fighting increases. Remember that your loved ones are also experiencing stress, fear, and anxiety during the pandemic. Try and be empathetic to their worries and concerns. None of us have lived through a pandemic before. Having compassion for ourselves and others opens the door for emotional connection and helps alleviate some of the worry and strain we might be feeling during the pandemic.
   
   If you or someone you know is in in a relationship with a harmful person-that is someone who may be emotionally, verbally, physically, or sexually abusive or exploitive help is available! Please reach out to: Rhode Island Coalition Against Domestic Violence ricadv.org; Helpline RI www.helplineri.com/domesticviolence; 1-800-494-8100 National Domestic Violence hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).
   
   
4. Unplug: Our lives are full of screen time these days. As a result, it may feel easy, almost automatic, to turn to our phones or other devices when we feel the desire to unwind. Research has shown that while too much screen time is detrimental to our physical health it also impacts our personal relationships. One study found that 54 % of couples believe their partner’s use of his or her mobile phone, which has increased during the pandemic, has negatively affected their relationship (Traverse, 2021).
   
   
5. Spend quality time together and apart: Research has found that couples who make an effort to spend quality time together and set aside time to plan for the future, focus on goals, take up new hobbies and exercise have been able to maintain more healthy relationships. However, it is also important to balance this out with taking time for ourselves. Even just setting an alarm 15 minutes early to wake up gently with meditation, a walk, or another mindfulness practice before starting your day will prepare you to be there better for yourself and others.
   
   
6. Get fresh air daily: Fresh air and nature are known to soothe the stress response, so get outside, listen to the birds, open the window, or even just sit in the sunlight in your home. Connect to the outdoors in whatever way is meaningful for you. Being compassionate and kind to ourselves and others is easier if we are in pleasant mood.
   
   Throughout time, humans have demonstrated remarkable resilience to overcome hardships and draw close together. Eventually, the pandemic will pass, tensions will ease, and our relationships will be there to continue to nurture and grow.

We hope this article helped you rethink some of your current strategies for fostering positive relationships in your life. If you would like help with processing current relationship struggles, or additional information and referral please reach out to the Kesher worker for your temple (Tara: 401-527-7772, tara@jfsri.org at Temple Emanu-El and Congregation Beth Sholom and Shana: 401-428-4084, shana@jfsri.org at Temple Sinai and Temple Torat Yisrael.)

References
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-the-mile/202010/9-tips-navigating-relationship-stress-during-covid 
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/202010/the-pandemic-is-harming-relationships-is-yours-risk 
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-engaged-mind/202012/is-relationship-boredom-inevitable-during-covid 
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/social-instincts/202101/in-times-covid-19-happy-couples-are-doing-these-5-things 
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/conscious-communication/202006/navigating-social-interaction-in-world-covid-19 
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-couch/201902/mothers-and-adult-daughters-building-healthy-relationship

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